As of a Dream
by Raw-DiamondGirl
Summary: 'I am to see to it that I do not lose you..." Bruce Banner hasn't had much since the accident. Anything he likes is injured, anything he loves is destroyed. It was only a matter of time until he lost the one thing he held most dear. (Unrequited and Angsty Science Boyfriends/Stanner/Whatever You Want to Call It. Happy ending not guaranteed.)
1. Chapter 1

His dreams, when they occur, are broken little things. Jagged edges of color and movement perform between torn curtains, a soundtrack of emotions accompanying each second.

They're not honest dreams, as it were. More like memories.

(He's not sure he wants to remember, really.)

When he finally comes to, there's a slender, gloved hand gripping his own, a red cloud resting on his chest.

He chuckles a bit, and she starts.

"Bruce!" Her eyes are red, almost as if she had been worried over him.

(And the idea that she might care about him makes the pain in his chest worth it.)

Before he can say a word, she's up and ushering in the others. They all give their own greetings, saddled with relieved smiles, and he can't get a syllable in edgewise.

(He's not sure what he'd say, anyway.)

"I knew you'd wake up, Jolly Green," comes from Clint, and Natasha swipes him along the back of the head.

The woman herself wraps her arms around his shoulders and squeezes tentatively. "I thought you were going to-" She cuts off, breath irregular, and he pats her on the back. When she pulls away, her eyes are steel. "If you do anything like that again, I'll kill you myself."

Phil's greeting is heralded by a bottle of water shoved into one hand, a chocolate-chip cookie in the other. A smile, "Welcome back, Soldier."

Thor is overbearing as always, arms full of what look to be gifts. "Banner, you've awoken! I'm told that it is Midgardian tradition to give gifts when a friend is ill. Baked goods, stuffed creatures, and flowers seem to be the most common, but I was not sure what you preferred, so I applied-"

"He got a bit of everything," Clint supplies, "But, may I say, the man can bake."

(If the cookie is any indication, he'll have to agree.)

When Steve enters, his smile is a bit more worried than relieved, and his eyes are pinched with anxiety.

(Bruce is reminded of the reality of his being so young as well as so old.)

A nod, "Good to see you awake."

(He had actually expected less than that.)

He takes a breath, eyes the door, and waits for the supernova.

He's going to be surprised anyway, he knows, when Tony walks through the door with a smile like the sun and eyes to match, and offers him a handful of blueberries.

(Always blueberries.)

He's confused when it never comes.

"Tony?" He asks, and Natasha grips his hand again, tighter.

That's enough to send him into a panic, as his heart starts to race, and he can practically feel the green burn into his eyes.

"Cap," He begins, and Steve flinches at the name, "Tony?"

"I'm sorry," Comes the muttered reply, "We found his suit-"

(Nonononono not Tony, please.)

Natasha removes her hand, the only grounding he has right now, and her voice is choked with tears but still so professional.

"Iron Man Mark 42 was found crushed, pieces contaminated with human blood and a radioactive green liquid."

He feels his eyes burn as eyes burn into him, and the heart monitor beside him goes crazy.

He never Hulks out.

Instead, he sobs.

Natasha doesn't try to touch him, this time.

(He almost wishes she would, because he could almost pretend she was Betty and this was all a nightmare.)

When Clint hands him a familiar grey t-shirt, he refuses to let go.

(It smells like oil and rubbing alcohol and lemons, and he hugs it to his chest as he lets out a stifled little scream.)

His dreams have always been more like nightmares, but now he thinks he would give anything to remember them.

(Because even watching himself kill his best friend would give him an extra few seconds to remember him by.)


	2. Chapter 2

He takes to staying in big cities.

Sure, he starts out in the small villages, working as a healer for room and board, and sure, he's used to it.

But it's _Life Before Tony_, and he can't handle it.

(Besides, he tells himself, it's easier to blend in among the masses, and there are always clinics that need more staff.)

Tokyo becomes his home for a while, bouncing from internet café to inn and working wherever he can make a buck.

He picks up _Go_, and the teenagers at the cafés are always surprised when he beats them in whatever video game.

(At one point, he gets a job at a host club, and they make sure he always wears royal blue, and if that's not one of the more interesting things he'll do in life, he'll be surprised.)

Paris is interesting, full of starving artists and cobblestone streets.

He works at a café, a little hole-in-the-wall corner, for a bit of change and a small room upstairs.

He serves maybe twenty people a day, and it's not long before he knows all their names.

(One night, he takes a woman he's just met to the Eifell Tower, and he regrets it almost as soon as he's done it.)

London is dreary and cold, but he's spent his life in worse enviroments, and at least the people know how to brew a proper cup of tea.

He gets a job at Harrod's, selling just about everything to anyone who's willing to pay for it.

(At one point, he finds himself hunting down a pack of maxi-pads for Joanne Rowling, and she asks if she could use him as a character muse. He doesn't freak out until she's safely out the door.)

He shares a flat with an engineer named Craig, whose wife has just left him. He's a sarcastic little man who makes Bruce want to laugh and cry all at once.

('Do you know, your eyes change color when you're angry?' and Bruce laughs, despite the pull in his stomach.)

Somehow, the Tower always remains his default setting for 'home.'


	3. Chapter 3

The hallucinations start sometime in Paris, and for a while, he humors them.

It's nice, actually, sitting in his room with a pad of paper and sketching out ideas with Tony again.

It's calming to have his best friend there in the café, just talking to him as he rolls out the dough for a pie.

('It should be blueberry,' Tony says, and Bruce wordlessly grabs the ingredients, a sentimental little smile crossing his face.)

He only realizes how far he's fallen when Madame tells him she's concerned.

"You talk to yourself," She says, "You hardly leave your room. Je suis inquiet, Bruce."

(He cries himself to sleep that night, because he had been foolish enough to believe.)

He ignores Tony from then on, and eventually he vanishes.

He returns with a vengeance when Bruce is with Angelique, pointing out her every flaw and habit, until Bruce finds it hard to be around her.

('Really, Bruce, are you this desperate?' He asks the night he takes her to a dinner they both know he can't afford, and points out the hickeys on her neck that Bruce had definitely not given her.)

He finally has an excuse to leave her when she's pregnant with another man's child, and he doesn't think of her again.

The memories are quieted when Bruce moves to London, and a subconscious part of him wonders if it's because Craig's almost like Tony that he can pretend things are almost okay.

(He still hears Tony talking to him every once in a while, but at least that means he can remember what Tony sounded like.)

There are still cracks in his shell, something that becomes obvious whenever someone calls him with news on the search for any trace of Tony Stark.

(It's gone worldwide now, even though it's been almost a year and everyone knows he's got to be dead.)

It's a job usually handed to Clint, but even the sound of his Sesame Street _'Doin' the Pigeon'_ ringtone can't keep Bruce from dreading what news may come.

(It's always the same, anyway. 'Nothing yet.')

So he watches the calendar every day, getting closer and closer to a year. He answers the phone every time, even though he knows what he'll hears.

On 365, he calls in sick, and Craig brings him tea and an old physics textbook and pretends not to hear the sobs when he leaves.

On 367, Pepper calls to tell him that they're planning a funeral.

(He doesn't go.)


	4. Chapter 4

He goes about a month after the service.

Drops everything, catches the red-eye to New York, and stays at a crappy motel that he knows Tony would laugh at.

It's sappy, and he knows Tony would scoff at him for it, but that gravestone is the last thing there is of him, and he wants to make sure it's proper.

He brings blue orchids, and he thinks Tony would laugh at that.

('Blue balls, Bruce?' The Tony in his mind asks, grinning, 'You trying to tell me something?')

The stone is black and polished; the silver-grey etching reads '_Anthony Edward Stark'._

(For a moment, Bruce wonders if this is the right gravestone. There's not an inch of hot-rod red anywhere, and it's decidedly not Tony at all.)

There's an identifying mark in the form of an arc reactor under the dates.

(1970-2012, and fourty-two is too early to die, isn't it?)

"Let's make a deal, Tony. You come home, and I will, too."

No answer.

At this point, he's sobbing, and he's as ashamed as he is angry.

"Damn it, you narcissistic idiot. I never even realized-"

He almost wishes he would hallucinate again, just to pretend.

(He does a lot of pretending lately.)

Pepper shows up some time later, and he does his best to make it look like he's just gotten there.

(She looks as if she doesn't believe him, but she doesn't question him, either.)

They stand there in the silence for a while, and eventually the sky goes dark.

She offers him a room at the Tower for a night, and he declines, saying he's got a room booked already.

She nods, eyes dim, and begins the walk to her car.

(He sleeps in the graveyard for the night.)

When morning comes, he wonders why the person he was closest to would go the one place they knew he couldn't follow.

Except he can, if he's willing to make the right phone call.

(The phone's in his palm before he can really think about it, and he pockets it again.)

"You wouldn't like that, would you? You'd think I was being weak."

When he walks away, he almost thinks he can hear the wind whispering to him.

A week later, he's still in the same motel, and he types out that long-memorized number on the keypad of his phone.

(The voice that answers sends chills down his spine and burns acid green back into his eyes.)

"Knew you'd turn yourself in, Banner. Murderers always do, you know."

(And he thinks it's better to be weak than to be alone.)


	5. Chapter 5

"Ross," He greets, trying to slow his heartbeat as the man on the line laughs.

"Come on, Robert, is that anyway to treat your old father-in-law?"

When he can bring himself to speak, his voice is almost at a growl, and his teeth are grinding together. "Like you were truly a father, anyway."

Ross laughs again, and it's bitter this time. "Better father than you were a husband. You killed her, after all. With your own poison."

He almost Hulks out right then and there. Hulk himself roars inside of him, rattling Bruce to the very bone.

(He makes no attempt to escape, however, and Bruce wonders if they've both given up.)

"Thaddeus, please. I'm giving myself up, isn't that what you want?"

"No," Comes a firm answer, anger flooding the single syllable, "I want you to lose everything you've ever loved. And then I want you dead."

Bruce resigns himself to his fate, because he's lost everything already, hasn't he?

And then Ross opens his mouth again.

"But you've only ever loved yourself, honestly."

(And that's not true, because he loved his mother and he loved Betty and he loved-)

"No."

Ross is quiet on the line, almost as if he holds an ounce of respect towards Bruce.

"Shall I send someone to pick you up, Robert?"

"My name's Bruce." It's only a muttered argument, one last bit of rebellion, but suddenly it doesn't matter either way.

"I'll call you what I like. You'll soon not have a need for names, anyway."

He sucks in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he prepares to hang up. "Yes, Sir. I'll be here waiting."

When he looks at the clock, it's three am, and he sends a text to Natasha.

'**I just couldn't. I'm sorry.**'

At seven am, when she's convinced Fury that something is really wrong and they go to check his motel room, the only thing left is a picture of the team and a half-bottle of blueberry wine.

(It's a long time before she forgives herself for not going sooner.)

At ten am, Bruce is hooked up to some strange machine that's extracting large amounts of blood from his arm.

(Too much to be healthy, really.)

At seven pm, he begins to hear screams.

And for the first time in a long time, they're not his own.

(For a moment, he tricks himself into thinking it's Tony.)


	6. Chapter 6

After a while, it gets harder for Bruce to tell the days apart.

He can barely tell the dreams apart from the truth, really.

There are two varieties of dreams that occur, and even the happiest make his chest ache.

When he's lucky, it's just an echo of a Bruce long past, a taste of metal against his tongue and a deep breath as his finger contracts.

When he awakes, the taste lingers, and he just wants a glass of water.

Sometimes, it's Tony.

_TonyTonyTony,_ in the lab or sitting on the couch or suiting up before a fight or just being Tony.

He memorizes the scent of him, the way his hair never sits quite straight, the blue glow through cotton t-shirts that proves he has a heart.

Mostly, he memorizes his laugh. The way his lips part to show a grin that would look forced on anyone else, the way his eyes sparkle and the whole world seems a little brighter.

(Those hurt the most of all, really, because a happy Tony was rare enough when he was alive.)

Other times, however, he remembers arguments. Little moments where he lost his cool, and maybe if they'd never happened, he wouldn't be here.

**"I don't belong here," He says, eyes glowing green and hands fisted along the sides of his desk, "I should be out there, normal. You all love the green guy so much? You can have him!"**

** Tony looks furious, but he stands stock-still. "You know something I heard a lot growing up, Bruce? 'What's normal to a spider would scare the shit out of a fly. We're all spiders. Hulk or not, you'd always end up here. Face it, Brucey-Boy, you're a freak, just like the rest of us." Never once does he raise his voice, and that's almost more intimidating than his shouting.**

** Bruce takes a few seconds to respond, Hulk roaring in his mind from betrayal and pain. "…Is that all I am, then? All I am to you? A freak? ****_Am I just some dog you brought home from the shelter because no one else would take me?"_**

** Before Tony can even answer, there's ripping fabric and his vision tints green, and suddenly he's filled with panic because this is Tony in front of him.**

** "LEAVE! NOW!" He manages to bellow out, writhing in pain.**

** Before everything goes black, he sees red flash in front of him, and a slightly computerized voice echoes through the room.**

** "Never."**

** Somehow, that makes him feel like everything will be better, just because Tony will be by his side.**

(Generally, after these, he cries. Because he won't be there anymore.)

One night, the dream is a bit different.

**Tony stands in front of him, eyelids drooping and eyes missing their sparkle. **

** "Why'd you do it, Bruce?"**

** He goes to speak, to say he didn't mean to, that he didn't want Tony to die, but he's cut off.**

** "Why are you going to kill yourself for something you didn't do?"**

** He's stunned, because of course Tony would be more worried about the man who technically can't die than himself. "Tony, I… You have to understand, I couldn't handle the grief. I c-can't take it without you," He takes a deep breath, puts it all on a line that broke a long time ago, "I lo-"**

_"Bruce!" _The voice that awakens him is frail, wavering. There's a touch of tear to it, almost like whomever it is has memorized his name and spent repetition after repetition, hour after hour waiting for an answer.

In the confusion of the moment, he doesn't answer until after the screams have started.

(He knows he hasn't been heard.)

He's not sure what he even says, really, but it's accompanied by a struggle against his bindings and a plea for Hulk to emerge through the veil of sedatives throughout his bloodstream.

The voice that called his name was weak and broken, but it was most definitely Tony Stark.

(And better than anything, it was definitely alive.)


	7. Chapter 7

It is a common ideal that if Bruce Banner is to ingest poison, Hulk will save him from it.

While this is true, few ever take the time to wonder exactly how he does so.

The answer is in the fact that he himself absorbs the effects. Bruce's being poisoned will weaken the Hulk, if only slightly. Should Doctor Banner decide to go for a few drinks, Hulk will be slightly off balance by the end of the night.

Most effects are vastly decreased, considering normal human proportions compared to an eight-foot behemoth.

Following this rule, Bruce Banner has been given sedatives non-stop for three days.

And now, when Bruce needs him the most, he is barely conscious.

**'Hulk, please.'** It's against everything he is to want Hulk to come out, but he does.

(If that doesn't explain Tony's effects on him, he truly can't think of anything that does.)

Hulk stirs inside of him, but he doesn't emerge. When he gives a response, his voice is tired and broken.

**'Hulk sorry. Can't.'**

Now Bruce is beginning to panic, and the fact that Hulk doesn't take over right then and there makes it worse.

**'Hulk, we have to. For Tony.'**

He can feel Hulk stir again, and this time, his voice seems a little bit more alert as it echoes through their shared mind.

**'Tin Man? Alive?'**

He lets out a sigh of relief, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

**'Yes. Alive. You have to come out so that we can save him.'**

At that moment, the screams that have to be Tony's start again, but then suddenly cut off into complete silence.

Hulk lets out a roar that is full of joy and anger and fear, all at once, and Bruce can feel strength rushing to his muscles and every sore spot fades away.

He rips one wrist from its bindings, followed by the other, and laughs as his feet hit the ground and green floods his skin.

(Their transformation has slowed drastically halfway through, a collaboration of brain and brawn and heart and hurt. What is left is a creature half Bruce and half Hulk, a shared mind that would almost look human if it weren't for the green skin.)

He- or, rather, they- run from the room and across the hall, into a room nearly identical in color and cold and fear.

Ross is there, standing foolishly unguarded in front of a small, limp body on an old operating table.

There's a sickening noise as his neck cracks, his eyes wide in surprise and his hand nearly touching his gun.

They grin as his body hits the floor, almost comfortable with the feral instinct running through their veins.

(The Bruce side is becoming increasingly aware of the Hulk side's growing dominance.)

There's a cell phone in his pocket, and they struggle with the buttons as they dial the first number that comes to mind.

When Pepper picks up, her voice is tired, and Happy can be heard from the background. "For the last time, General Ross, Stark Industries is not interested in doing any sort of business with you."

They shake their head, gripping the phone a little tighter and flinching when the plastic casing cracks. "Pepper, it's Bruce. Found Tony. Can you trace number? Kidnapped."

There's a rustling and a sort of gasping noise, and it almost sounds like she's running somewhere.

"Tony? Are you okay? Is he alive?" The flood of questions comes faster than they can handle.

"I'm fine. Tony-" The phone falls from their hand as they finally take a good look at the man in front of them.

His skin is pale, his eyes open and glassy.

(There is a gaping hole and a mass of wires where a blue light should be.)

"_No!_" they scream, searching frantically for a semi-spherical bit of metal.

Pepper's yelling something, and they can hear the tears in her voice, even without distinguishing the words.

When they find the reactor, it takes an agonizingly long time to reconnect the wires and snap it into place.

As they wait, ten seconds turns into twenty, and they still can't find a pulse, and they're sobbing as Pepper yells something across the phone line.

It's a whole three minutes before Bruce gives up. He pulls away into the darkness of unconsciousness, and his form shifts and grows again.

What is left is larger and greener and completely Hulk.

He cups the pale body as tenderly as he can in his hands, and frowns.

"Tin Man, wake up," He shakes the limp form, careful not to snap anything, "Wake up."

When there's no response, no movement, he pokes him as gently as he can in the stomach.

"Tin Man?"

Not even a grunt.

He pulls what was once his friend to his chest and lets out a howling sob, rocking him in his arms.

(When the team finally finds them, he is quiet, holding onto the limp form as if it were a cherished rag doll. A light blue glow illuminates his face, and they're surprised to see what look like tears flowing through the wrinkles in his face.)

It takes Natasha and Clint both to separate the pale body from the green hands, and he ends up holding the both of them instead.

They almost miss Steve muttering about a pulse.

"It's weak, but it's there."


	8. Chapter 8

When he wakes up, his mind is still in a fog, and he can't think of a reason he'd be in the hospital.

(He _can_ see the tangled red head of hair lying on his chest, and he wonders why the whole thing seems so familiar.)

He takes a sharp breath, not sure how else to alert her to his state. She twitches, sits up and locks her eyes upon him, shocked.

"Bruce?" For the first time that he can remember, Pepper Potts looks weak.

"Pep," He smiles, happy as always to see her. "What's wrong?"

She frowns, squeezing his hand.

(And again he has a sense of déjà vu.)

"Tony," She says, voice wavering.

(And he awakens, and it all comes back in a rush of ice and fire and pain: The man he loves is twice-dead.)

"_No,_" He breathes out, eyes watering, as he untangles his hand from Pepper's and presses it to his face, "_No._"

"He's in a coma. Not responsive." Her voice breaks on the last word, and his head snaps up.

"He's alive?"

She nods, eyes wide, and he's up in an instant.

"Where?"

"Room 44, but we're not supposed to- Bruce?"

He stops, turning to her with the first genuine smile he's had in a long time.

(Because maybe Tony's in a coma, maybe he might be dying, but right now he's alive and he's here and that's good enough.)

"Yes, Pepper?"

She motions downward, trying her hardest to keep her eyes to the ceiling. "Your gown's ridden up."

A beat.

"Oh."

**_-AoaD-_**

The body in Room 44 is almost unrecognizable as human. There are tubes everywhere, at least four intravenous medications flowing into one arm.

(For a moment, he wonders if Pepper was kidding him, or if she'd gotten the room number wrong.)

But faint blue light shows through the cotton gown, and when Bruce finally sees it, his heart sticks in his throat.

There are monitors everywhere, covered in lines and numbers he can't bring himself to try to decipher.

He focuses, instead, on the cardiograph, watching the spikes in the line as they repeat a constant pattern.

(This, after all, shows that Tony is alive.)

He sits in the chair beside the bed, grasping Tony's hand in his own and occasionally brushing his fingers across his wrist to feel for a pulse.

In a voice weathered by time and pain and exhaustion, he begins to fill his best friend in on everything he'd missed.

"We thought Hulk had something to do with your vanishing," He says, taking a gulp of air and squeezing his hand a little tighter, "I kind of ran away from the world after that."

He tells Tony first of the travels, Mumbai and Tokyo and Paris and London, of the people he'd met and the people he'd saved.

Next, he speaks of the menial things, like Pepper's relationship with Happy, and how Loki has been instated as part of the Avengers.

(He leaves out the part where they only had an opening because Bruce left.)

He tells Tony how he'd gone to Notre Dame, seen the things that Victor Hugo once saw. He briefly mentions finishing _Les Miserables, _muttering under his breath about the fact that it was more a brick than a book.

(Secretly, he'd enjoyed it, for more than just the fact that Tony had recommended it a thousand times.)

Lastly, he talks of the pain, of the stunning emptiness that had been left behind, how he'd never gotten a proper goodbye. He tells of the few nights he'd spent at Tony's gravestone and the blame he placed upon himself.

"Do you know, Tony Stark," He begins, eyes watering as he leans back in the chair, "I do believe I am a little in love with you."


	9. Chapter 9

Hours turn to days turn to weeks, and still not a twitch from Tony.

By now, Bruce has healed completely, and he spends most of his time in Tony's room, waiting.

(Because he knows Tony will wake up eventually. He has to.)

But today, there is couple of master assassins refusing to let him in and a super-soldier handing him a cup of coffee and instructions to go to the park.

He's too tired to fight back, really, and Steve promises they'll call him if anything changes.

The nearest park is a small thing, but it looks as if it's come from a Shakespearian novel.

(The thought makes him smile wistfully, and he takes a sip from his coffee.)

He sits himself down at a chess table, watching the trees sway in the wind and listening to the grass shuffle against itself.

Suddenly, there's a voice across from him, shaking him from his dreams.

"You seem lost, sir."

The child across from him is a girl, a teenager. Her eyes are darkened by a lack of sleep and a backpack lies across her shoulders.

Tourist, most likely.

But then she reaches into her bag and pulls out a glass chess set and begins to set it up.

"A game?" She asks, already knowing that he's going to answer in the affirmative.

With quiet respect, she lays each piece in its place, giving him white.

He starts the clock, and two games begin.

"I'm Bruce, nice to meet you." Pawn to H4.

"I know who you are, Doctor Banner." Pawn to G6.

"Oh?" Rook H3

"You're a leading scientist, and then you just drop off the map? Doesn't work like that." Bishop H6.

"And you infer?" Rook E3.

"Hulk is you. You are Hulk." Pawn D6.

"You're intelligent. I like that." Pawn A4.

"You're in love," She smirks, eyes twinkling, "with Stark." Queen D7.

"What?" Knight F3. Shit.

"He was dead, you were missing. Now you're both alive. Sort of." Knight F6.

"Explain."

"Specify, Mister Spock."

"You assume I'm in love. Explain." Rook A3.

"The look in your eye. I know it." Pawn D5.

"You're too young."

"You'd know if you'd met her."

Silence. Rook D3.

"Her name doesn't matter to you, and it hurts me, so I'll not bother saying it. We were in love if there ever was such a thing, and then I was-" She cuts off, Queen A4. "Things happened. I think I still might love her, Mr. Bruce."

"I'm sorry." Rook D5.

"Don't be like me, Banner." Knight D5.

"And what would that mean?" Knight A3.

A pause. "Tell him while you can." Bishop E3.

"He can't hear me anyway." Pawn E3.

"Tell him." Knight E3.

"I did." Pawn E3.

Bishop G4.

Knight G5.

Bishop E2. "Good."

Queen E2.

Pawn A5.

"It's okay to move on, you know." Knight E4.

She smiles down at him, eyes glittering in a melancholy way. "Oh, yes, I know." Rook A6.

Knight D6.

Rook D6. "I'm waiting for her to say I'm allowed to let go."

"And what if she doesn't?" King F2.

Queen C2. "Then I'll hold on forever, won't I?"

"Not healthy." Queen C2.

"Love hardly is, these days." Knight A6.

Bishop D2.

"But, then again, it's not like either of us can talk." Knight C5.

Bishop A5.

Knight D3. "Check."

Queen D3.

"You really should think twice." Rook D3.

"I could say the same." Bishop D3.

Pawn G5.

Pawn G5.

Rook G8. "I have no idea what I'm doing anymore."

Bishop G6. "Same here."

Bishop C3.

Rook G5.

**_"He's a boy king, but he's a bastard with a problem. She's a stomping beast, and a dark demanding child."_**

She jumps, reaches her hand to a pocket and pulls out a phone.

Reading the Caller ID, she shoves it back into her pocket with a tremble to her strength.

"Who was that?" King E1.

"A bastard back home." Rook G2.

"Home?" Bishop F6.

"Small town in Illinois, you wouldn't know it." Rook B2.

"If you say so." Bishop E7.

"You're dead already." King E7.

"I've heard that a lot." Knight B5.

"Playing like this, I don't doubt it." Rook B5.

"I'm old enough to be your father, how about a little respect?" Pawn E4.

"In some cultures, I'm old enough to be your wife." Rook C5.

Satisfied in his beating, Bruce sets his king on its side. "I forfeit."

She smiles, packs away her pieces and throws her bag back over her shoulder.

With a final handshake, she begins to walk away.

"The name's Hannah, by the way. Remember me."

He chuckles, watching as she strides toward her unknown destination.

"Remembering implies I could ever forget."

He wants a daughter like her, he thinks, someday.

(With a tenderness so much like his own and sparkling intellect and a touch of sarcasm far too familiar.)

He wonders if Stark Industries has an open position in the upper levels.


	10. Chapter 10

After a long week of late nights bleeding into early mornings, it's Thor that enters the room to wake Bruce up.

Their reunion is nice, filled with hugs and sentiment and a little bit of tears.

(Besides Tony, Thor is the only one who he feels comfortable being emotional around. It's hard to hurt a god, after all. )

When Bruce sits back down, Thor gives him a grin that is both excited and sly. "Dear Banner, I do believe I can help." He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small golden orb.

When he tosses it to Bruce, it becomes apparent that it's an apple.

"Painted produce?"

(He's disappointed, really, but he doesn't know what he expected.)

Thor frowns. "No, the pigmentation is natural. It is the fruit of the world tree, the secret to Asgardian survival. Can cure all wounds and, if eaten regularly while in good health, grants a longer lifespan."

Bruce looks up, eyes wide. "You can't mean that you're entrusting it to me?"

"Aye."

"But I'm a scientist! Were I a lesser man, I could take it and run. The secret to immortality and the cure-all of disease, and you're entrusting it to a mere human?"

(He's grateful, yes, but this is a dangerous move on Thor's part.)

The alien just smiles, "I would not entrust it to any ordinary human. I am entrusting the secrets of one world to a hero of another. Though dangerous, I believe it justifiable."

(Bruce is struck with the sudden realization that Thor didn't win so many battles through sheer brawn. The man may seem like a fool on modern Earth, but on his own planet, he is a genius.)

"What do you suggest, Thor?"

Thor raises an arm to point at the machinery attached to Tony's form. "Those bags, they connect straight to his blood, yes?"

Bruce nods.

"A few drops of juice in one of those liquids, he awakens, well."

"That's all?"

A nod.

Bruce presses his thumb through the skin of the apple, letting the juice drip into Tony's IV.

He throws it into the trash after, absent-mindedly sucking the juice off of his thumb.

No one notices the small spot of green on the bottom of the apple.

No one knows of the problems it could cause.

**_-AoaD-_**

****It's a few days later, when he's in the cafeteria getting coffee to keep him sentient, (It's been maybe four days since he's gotten more than a few minutes of sleep.) that Tony's body finally decides to reboot itself.

The Avengers are not normal. Never have been, never will be. And that's the way Bruce likes it.

However, he does not like Steve's preferred method of giving news.

He never sees Natasha and Steve running to him, and then they're upon him. Natasha sweeps up his coffee, not spilling a drop as she runs into the hall.

Bruce blinks. His coffee has suddenly vanished from his hand.

Steve groans, shakes his head, and holds his breath as he throws Bruce of his shoulder.

He runs them up four floors to Tony's room, not listening to Bruce's muttered complaints.

When he sets him down outside the door, he grins in a childlike way. "Tony's waking up."

He runs into the room, a small blur of purple and brown, and pushes his way past the nurse to Tony's side.

When Tony's eyes flutter open, Bruce grasps his hand and lets out a choked noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "Tony…"

His world crashes down when Tony snatches his hand away and frowns.

"Who are you?"


	11. Chapter 11

If losing the love of your life is painful; If watching them die is heart-wrenching; This was deathly.

Because with the loss of memory, Anthony Stark is not Tony. Tony is gone, possibly dead. Yet a shell of him still breathes, reminding the world of what could've been.

Bruce Banner realizes this within seconds of the question.

And yet he still tries.

"Tony. Tony, it's Bruce," He pulls his hands toward his chest, though he desperately wishes to grab for Tony's instead, "Bruce Banner."

Tony-Who-is-Not-Tony smiles, but it's missing its light.

"Not to say I don't appreciate your research on gamma radiation, Doctor Banner, but why were you holding my hand?"

It's Steve that cracks this time, and it's almost painful to see him fall so hard.

"Come on, Tony, shut up. You're giving Bruce a panic attack, and that's the last thing we need." His voice is begging, pleading, and oh, how it hurts.

"I'll say whatever I want to say," He takes a moment to look the taller man up and down, squinting, "Whoever you are."

Steve shrinks back, eyes betrayed.

It's Natasha that finally says it, after a moment of thick silence.

"He doesn't remember any of it. Not a single one of us."

"You know, I'd rather you didn't talk about me like I wasn't here." A glare from Clint, and he shuts up, looking downward.

And promptly yelps.

"Guys? My chest is glowing."

(Steve slams his head against a wall, and if it were anyone else, Bruce would be worried.)

"Yeah," He chokes out, holding back tears, "It's a miniature arc reactor. It's sort of keeping you alive."

Thor walks in, smile wide as he winks at Bruce. "Friends! I hear Stark has finally awoken. May I suggest-"

Bruce isn't aware he has the demigod pinned against a wall until Clint makes a noise of awe.

"Banner, I-"

"Thor, what did you do?"

The blond frowns, "Whatever do you mean?"

He sighs, and through gritted teeth, he growls. "He doesn't remember. _Any of us._"

Thor blanches, and Bruce drops him before stalking out of the room.

Behind him, he can hear frenzied muttering.

"He looks green. Does he look green to anyone else? Is he supposed to be green?"

He gets a room at some half-assed motel no one will find him in, curls up on the bed, and sobs until everything goes black.

When he wakes the next morning, he is naked, the mirror is shattered, and there is a word dug into the wall by steel fingernails.

(_tinMan)_

Bruce falls into another round of choking sobs.


	12. Chapter 12

It's Loki that comes to find him this time, actually, and that unsettles Bruce more than calms him.

(Yes, the demigod was as much an Avenger as he was, these days, and twice as skilled in control, but the fact was that he didn't trust him.)

"Go away, Loki," He whispers, knowing that the taller man will hear.

"Banner, " He mutters, and Bruce notices that his eyes are green.

(He could've sworn they were blue.)

"I was wrong. You were never a beast."

Bruce chuckles into the pillow, but his nails bite into the skin of his palms. "I was always a monster."

"No, you weren't. You were a miracle, and-"

He's pressed against the wall before Bruce can even think about it, and his fists are tinted green.

(And it's all green now, isn't it, even this strange sense of relief?)

Loki grins, hand reaching up to rest his palm on the back of Bruce's neck, "Feels better, does it not?"

Bruce nods, setting the other man down as he sits himself on the bed. "My apologies, Loki."  
He sits beside him, suddenly seeming not so threatening. "No, I understand that I am not trusted," He pauses for a moment, thinking, "May I show you something?"

Bruce nods, entranced by the vulnerability that is being shared.

Loki's forearm tints a strange shade of blue and his eyes change, but they're a more saturated blue than Bruce remembers.

(And suddenly the world makes a little more sense.)

"Frost Giant?"

A nod, "Laufeyson."

"So we have something in common, then." Bruce smiles through the pain. "When did you first find out?"

Loki raises his glamour again, shifting in his seat. "Shortly before Thor came to Midgard and met Lady Jane. I didn't-" He takes a deep breath, and Bruce notices that his language is more adapted than Thor's. "I'd spent my entire life being told the Frost Giants were evil, and then I was one."

Bruce nods, remembers growing up being told exactly what sort of monster he was, and lays a hand on Loki's shoulder. "You know, I think you were so preoccupied with making sure Odin loved you that you missed something much more important."

Loki looks up with a question bright in his eyes.

(It comes intermixed with tears he is working to withhold.)

"Thor loves you more than anyone else ever could. He might've been Odin's favourite, but you were his."

Loki nods, leaning into Bruce's touch as if it's the only grounding he has.

"We'll fix this, Banner. I swear it on Frigga's name; you will have your love back."

Bruce nods in thanks, wrapping his arms around Loki loosely.

They are the brothers of evil, adopted by the families of good and righteousness.

(He thinks it would be better for them both if they could find a place somewhere in the middle.)


End file.
